It can be nerve-racking to meet your partner’s parents for the very first time. This is often a sign of the next step in a relationship. If your partner is close to his parents it could indicate that he needs their approval before moving on. What should you wear?
While you may want to impress them in some way, it is also important to show your true personality. In these cases, “just be you” is only as good advice. Elaine Turner, a Houston-based designer, stressed that “what you wear” is another form communication. It’s your visual language for the world.
Wearing the wrong thing can communicate more than you think. Here are the top fashion and dating tips Turner and others recommend you avoid when you’re invited home by a special person to meet your parents.
Be respectful
It’s important to stand up for the things you believe in. However, it is equally important to consider the impact of first impressions and your desire to share your beliefs. Elaine Turner stated that it is not a good idea to start by compromising the lines with your partner’s parents. She advised that you avoid any ensembles that could offend. Avoid controversial pieces such as fur or political tees until you get to know your new family.
You should also consider how to deal with tattoos that you might have. This can be controversial. Kari Cruz, fashion expert, said that tattoos with a lot of personal meaning can be a way to connect with your parents and share some of your personality. She warned that if parents aren’t as progressive, tattoos can be received in an overpowering fashion. For the first meeting, wear long sleeves and allow them to get to know you personally.
A skirt is not allowed to be worn at a soccer match
Find out as much information as you can about the place you will be meeting with the parents before you meet them. You want to make a great first impression and feel comfortable in your clothes. It’s not a good idea to feel awkward in a fancy dress when everyone else is wearing jeans.
Cruz pointed out the importance of dressing appropriately for the event and location. She suggested that if you don’t know how dressed the crowd will be at a brunch, you should avoid a backless dress. She said, “If you are going to a night out or for a special occasion, then you will definitely want to dress up.” She cautioned, however, that it was important not to be too sexy.
Cruz suggests that you stay away from certain things, even if the occasion is casual. She said, “Look for pieces that aren’t too flashy but still show your style to the parents.” To show that you are responsible for your appearance, keep it neat and well-kept. You should not expose bra straps, have stained clothes, crop tops or crop tops. These visual cues can be perceived as careless, lazy, irresponsible or reckless.
You may not realize how much color can communicate
As if it wasn’t enough to stress the importance of choosing the right outfit for the occasion, pay close attention to what certain colors are saying. Although you might think that classic dark colors are the best way to approach your outfit, David Zyla, an Emmy-winning stylist and best selling author of Color Your Style, suggests otherwise. He advised against using dark neutrals such as charcoal or black, which conveys a feeling of mystery and conceals something.
No neutrals, got it. You’re so red. Nope. Zyla said, “Save your most intense red shade for date night. It may come off as too aggressive or sexy in this situation.” What should a gal do?
Zyla suggested that instead of choosing a color from your iris, you should choose one. This friendly, energetic shade will give off a friendly and warm “I’m a really nice person” vibe.
Clubbing attire is not allowed
It doesn’t really matter if your plans are to go out later in the evening or if your favorite clothes are those you wear to clubbing. Michelle Dimarco, celebrity stylist and owner Lilies Boutique says that you shouldn’t wear your club attire to meet people. She said that if you’re wearing a cute outfit and could possibly see yourself wearing it to the club that is a sign that you shouldn’t wear it to meet your boyfriends parents.
Caitlin Berstein, a matchmaker based in Boston, with Three Day Rule, agreed. This includes a low-cut or revealing top, as well as a short skirt, dress or shorts. She said that it can also include clothing with tight skin. This can make you appear insecure or desperate for attention. Bergstein stated that parents may be concerned if their child is wearing tight or revealing clothing.
Parents want to protect their children. Don’t give them any reason to feel they have to protect you. Rayne Parvis, a personal stylist, suggested that you wear something that exudes trust, femininity and loyalty.
The best treadmill
It’s all the rage to wear your favorite gym clothes to meet your partner’s parents. This might be a sign that you care about your body and your health. You could be sending a completely different signal.
Bergstein said that wearing gym pants, sweatpants and hoodies can make you appear too relaxed and careless about your appearance. She said that this could be interpreted as a sign of laziness and make his parents wonder why you didn’t put on jeans and a nice shirt to meet him.
DiMarco agreed, saying that a tee-shirt is acceptable as long as it’s not too similar to the one you received at the end 5K. She said, “You want it to appear like you care.” “Wearing casual clothes says you don’t care.”
Are leggings pants?
We all get it. Leggings can be super comfy and come in many styles, textures, and prints. The classic debate about whether leggings should be considered pants is not something you want to bring up when you meet your parents for the first-time. Even if the leggings are not workout, which we all know, it’s better to leave your LuLaRoe at-home.
Do you really want your underwear visible when you bend down? It’s something we’ve all witnessed and it’s certainly not the first impression you want to make with your future spouses.
A fog of perfume
You want to look good and smell great when you meet your parents. But too much perfume is not a good idea. Rori Sassoon is a matchmaker and also studied at the Fashion Institute of Technology. She said that perfume shouldn’t be too heavy. She said, “You’ll be remembered as the girl wearing heavy perfume, trying to hide her bad smell or trying to be Coco Chanel.”
This can cause allergies or other breathing problems in parents, which is not a good impression. It will also make it almost impossible for them to say goodbye or hug you. This is not how you want to begin things. Sassoon suggested that you play it safe and reduce the extremes. “Think balance.”
According to Sassoon balance is the key when it comes down to everything during the first meeting. She said, “You don’t want anything too low cut or tight to meet your guy’s parents.” You can’t go wrong by being classy!
Gaudy, flashy jewelry
You might be tempted to buy all the best jewelry for a parent’s visit. After all, you want to impress them. Too much jewelry, or jewelry that is too flashy or gaudy, can distract from the main point. It’s not difficult to imagine being anxious and fidgety at the prospect of meeting your parents. Imagine that you are fidgeting and have a collection of bangle bracelets. They clink and clank as you fidget. It’s best to avoid this.
Brittney Smiejek is a Chicago-based matchmaker for Three Day Rule. She said it clearly when she stated, “No gaudy jewellery.” She suggested that you keep things simple, chic, and elegant, adding “It is important to remember the best accessory you can wear is a smile in any setting.”
Too much makeup
You can use makeup to feel more confident and more yourself. There is a danger of overdoing makeup, regardless how skilled you are at using a brush to apply it.
Bergstein said that wearing too much makeup and too expensive heels can make you appear sloppy, a bit naive, or high-maintenance. You can opt for a natural look if makeup is necessary.
