Online dating is not the secretive method that only desperate daters use to find their mate. Instead, online dating is now a proud practice. Okay, maybe that’s a bit exaggerated. Online dating is becoming more popular, but it can be frustrating to go through so many profiles and try to find the right one to spend Saturday night with.
Although different apps have different interfaces and messaging requirements, they all offer different pricing options. However, it is possible to identify the red flags as well as the signs that a potential match might be from just looking at their profiles. It is possible to spot the red flags and signs that someone could be a great match, but it is not impossible.
To find out if a guy is a good match for me, we talked to relationship and online dating experts.
His profile is polished and shows effort
While every dating app is different in terms of how many characters one can use to answer a prompt or provide information, even the most stringent of character limits still allow for complete, polished responses.
Megan Murray, Zoosk’s senior content strategist and editor in chief, said that the more a man invests in his profile – he adds great photos, fills out his description, or verifies his profile using any features of the app or site – the more interested he is in finding the right person for him. She explained that people with more photos spend more time on Zoosk getting to know others. “If someone only has one photo, they are not putting in as much effort.”
Erika Martinez, a licensed clinical psychologist, agreed. She said, “The best indicator of whether a man will engage on a date is how attentive he is in filling out his profile and the quality the responses he gives.” This suggests that he is not putting in the effort necessary to live a full life.
He uses humor and shows his personality
Along with the amount of effort he put into his profile, look for signs that his personality is shining through. Is he humorous? You can tell that he is passionate about travel and playing the guitar.
Dr. Venessa Marie Perry, chief relationship strategist at LoveWrite, said that a man who has a profile that conveys who he really is and what he wants with humor is more likely be fun and engaging on a date. Don’t be distracted by the men who give generic answers. Instead, look for those guys who are serious and stand out.
He’s smiling and seems approachable in his pictures
In addition to seeing his personality shine through in his profile, a picture is worth a thousand words. If you find yourself thinking of words like “serious,” “intimidating” or “angry” when you look at a guy’s profile photo, swipe left. Perry stated that photos that showcase the type of activities they are interested in or show them engaging with friends and others can indicate that he is a good choice for a boyfriend. However, it’s important to ensure that the activities that he enjoys don’t seem mean-spirited or petty.
Alex Reddle is an online dating expert and chief editor at Flirt.com. He said that “strange photos” should be a red flag. “Throwing pickles in nose holes, licking objects, and throwing water bombs at pedestrians? Be careful, girl. Pranksters are usually not good at relationships.”
He isn’t shirtless in his photos
While you want his photos to be appealing and represent what he’s interested in, shirtless photos may not be ideal if what you’re looking for is a long-term connection. Perry said that photos of wearing nothing and showing off his abs are warning signs. She said that a man wearing no shirt or a woman in a bikini indicates that they are more interested in a short-term relationship or a fling. It also indicates that they are more concerned about their appearance than any other aspects of their personality. Reddle agreed and said, “If a man is showing off his abs every time he takes a photo, there is a chance that you will have nothing to discuss other than his diet and exercise routine.”
Mary T. Sambrosky – the founder and president of Be Plus One dating and relationship coaching website. She stated, “Pictures that primarily show possessions, selfies or flexing in a mirror are all signs that the person isn’t capable of having meaningful relationships currently, or is choosing to not.”
He is specific about what he is looking for
It is easy to tell if a guy is actually looking for a relationship. If a guy doesn’t just talk about him in his profile but also mentions the things he is looking for, it shows that he has thought about what kind of relationship he would like, even if he doesn’t want to openly admit to wanting one. Murray explained that there are certain keywords you should look for.
While every guy wants someone they enjoy, it is a sign that they are more interested in relationships. She said that some of the most common words men use include caring, loving and smart. A guy who says he is looking for someone with a sense humor and a lot of fun, may not be serious. If a guy claims he is looking for someone smart and can be his best friend, it’s likely that he has thought about what kind of person he would like to be with.
He speaks about the things that matter to him
A man who talks about what is important to him is showing that he is either ready to settle down, or that he sees that as a possibility. He wants you to understand his priorities from the beginning and that you will fit in with them if you get along well.
Scott Valdez (founder of ViDA) said that a guy looking to commit will invest more time into the image he presents on the dating app. It’s a sign that he’s suitable for a boyfriend if he emphasizes things like his family and career in his profile. If his photos don’t make you cringe, it’s a good sign.
He mentions his flaws
Everyone wants to put their best foot forward, especially when it comes to dating, but if his profile is full of his accomplishments and everything he loves about himself, it might be a red flag. However, if he mentions his flaws, or things that he is working on, it could be a sign that he cares about personal growth.
Reddle said that this suggests that Reddle is eager to be honest and will put all his cards on the tables before entering into anything. “Men who appear too good to be true are often too good to be true.” Men who are open to sharing their imperfections tend to be more sincere.
He’s not online constantly
No one wants a long wait before they hear back from someone they have messaged on a dating site. But if a guy is always online, it is a sign that he has nothing better to do. Or even worse.
You don’t want a guy who is constantly looking for the next thing. A guy who doesn’t spend his time online is likely to have other priorities and will be looking for someone who can help him live that life. This is a sign that a potential relationship could be more healthy.
You are using a paid app or site
Murray said that it doesn’t necessarily make sense to pay for a site to help you find a boyfriend. However, she explained that people who pay to use the site are more likely to be serious about finding a mate. She said that one of the benefits of a paid app is a larger pool of potential mates. They are literally invested in finding the right match. This makes perfect sense.
He specifically says he’s looking for a relationship
This may seem like a no-brainer, but Sambrosky explained that many women ignore the simple red flag that a man has said he’s “looking to have fun” or “looking to make friends” in his profile. She said, “It amazes me how many women don’t take that seriously. Or think that he’s just saying this but will change his mind.”
Some men will openly admit that they are looking for a relationship. Murray stated that this is more common for older men but it doesn’t mean they are the only ones who feel this way. She said that many men who use dating apps to find a serious relationship and are looking for one will simply say it. We found that “relationship” is the third most common word men over 50 use when describing their search for someone. It’s also the 10th most popular word for men in their 40s. It’s not a top 20 phrase for younger men, but they still use it. Believe him when he claims he is looking for something serious, and if he doesn’t say so, then believe him.
These suggestions can be combined with your own must-haves and deal breakers to guide your dating decisions. You might decide that he’s not worth another date after a first date. You might be able to spot your Mr. with this lens. Amongst all the Mr. Woes. Swipe!